1. 45
    30
    Nov

    Chris Martin and Coldplay.

    I hate Chris Martin. I just plain hate him. I hate him, I hate his poxy wife and his stupid little kids that don’t get to eat McDonalds. Ok, well I don’t hate his little kids, they’re just little kids, they’re probably busy enjoying toys and stuff for anyone to dislike them.

    People are constantly heralding Chris Martin and Coldplay as the second coming of Christ. They herald him to such an extent that I constantly find myself questioning if I’m tripping or not…did I take too many antidepressants today? Is this some ridiculous side effect that they didn’t mention in the leaflet that came with them? Because I’m pretty sure “imagining an incredibly bland group are hugely popular” wasn’t listed underneath me possibly getting a bad head or the shits.

    The popularity of he and Coldplay is astounding and so many view it as a shade it really isn’t; a royal blue, a bright orange, a nuanced green, perhaps. Please. It is the music of the beige revolution. It is the soundtrack to making porridge. It is the beat to which boredom dances. ”Viva La Vida” is a fun song, created in the style of an epic. Chris Martin was pretty funny in “Extras”. But that’s it, can’t balance out the beigeness beneath. Coldplay is, as the monicker of the blog states, fine. It’s utterly safe. It’s albums and albums of very similar music that is difficult to distinguish. It is music for people who don’t passionately LOVE music - it doesn’t move people to CHANGE anything. It’s probably what students listen to whilst studying a ridiculous degree and complaining about the price of giant sacks of pasta/cider (ah, university).

    It’s an undercover-lover if there ever was one. They’re not vermillion, they’re ho-hum.

    Shade: Timid Khaki

    1. brienne--of--tarth reblogged this from thecolourbeige
    2. cataloguesofconcubines reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      itself tbh. You didn’t even give any reasons as to WHY you find them...other than “their...
    3. fourgunfire reblogged this from cheryl-tunt
    4. lilacsinthespring reblogged this from hermione-ganja and added:
      I call them U2-lite /OH SNAP
    5. drzaiusdrzaius reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      OH NOW YOU’VE GOT ME MAD j/k but tbh i see...lot more people with this kinda view...
    6. thenewtardis reblogged this from missvampirebarbie and added:
      Hater’s gonna hate. I love them :)
    7. aliuribe reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      My sentiments exactly.
    8. missvampirebarbie reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      THIS THIS THIS I CANNOT STAND CHRIS MARTIN OR COLDPLAY AND THEIR BEIGENESS
    9. captain-sonic reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      really really boring. You like...one of their songs...you’ve...
    10. hermione-ganja reblogged this from thecolourbeige
    11. thekingofthedarkandforgot reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      better writer than me knows exactly how I think. Wow.
    12. queensmoots reblogged this from thecolourbeige and added:
      know we’re all kind-of sick...thecolourbeige by now, but ugh, THIS. SO MUCH OF THIS.
    13. sophiewithoutthanks submitted this to thecolourbeige
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Beige.

The word encapsulates boredom and monotony. Unlike red, yellow, or violet, beige has no real identity. There are are many shades of beige, but they’re. still. beige.

Beige takes no risks and even when it does, you can still tell that it’s an undercover beige acting as a maroon. It’s almost cute.

Beige relies on its blank and dime-a-dozen looks to get work and fools itself that it’s talented because everyone wants to kiss beige’s ass. Sometimes, beige is even talented, but rests on its laurels and never steps out of its comfort zone.

We all know and love a beige and you know what? It’s fine. Beige is safe. Beige is soft. Beige gets the job done.
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